Train Up a Child

Why Boot Camps for Kids May Not Be Necessary

What dawned on me when I was thinking of a topic for my next blog post was that boot camps for kids are unnecessary if you train them properly from infancy.  This blog helps parents find boot camps for kids and teens that have severe problems: disobedience, obesity, drug abuse, and other maladies.  It must seem odd that I am writing about how to avoid the necessity of sending kids to boot camp.  But, as much as I am interested in finding great boot camps for children, I am more interested in helping people raise healthy, solid and loving young people.

Why would you train a dog, a horse or a pack animal but not your own child?

What does it mean to train your child?

How can I train my children to obey my commands without having to yell?

How can I get my children to strive to obey me because they respect, love and want to please me?

How can I train a child that has yet to reach the age of reason?

What does the Bible say about the discipline and training of children?

Will spanking my child lead to low self-esteem and behavioral problems?

How can I raise loving, thinking individuals that are well adjusted, happy and fulfilled in life?

These and many other questions are constantly asked by good parents all over the globe.  I am a father of two toddlers and my wife and I discuss these and many other similar topics regarding the rearing of our little ones.

My wife and I have been reading a great book with the title, “To Train Up a Child” from the No Greater Joy Ministries.  This book has given me such a profound perspective on my responsibility as a parent.  We are our children’s primary teachers and it is our responsibility to make sure they are trained to be loving, selfless, well-adjusted and fulfilled individuals.

Well, how do we do that?  As the book explains, we all enter the world as selfish individuals as we have to be.  We cannot feed, clothe, or provide shelter for ourselves so we instinctively look to our parents for absolutely everything and we are naturally very focused on those needs.  However, some of us never grow out of that selfishness because we are trained to remain in it.  Or it may be that we are not trained to look beyond our own selfish needs to become complete human beings by interacting in a give and take manner with others.

This training starts at home and it begins when we are infants.  The book presents some very creative ideas for training a child as early as in their six month of life, or when they can crawl to you.  There is a little concept called “Booty Camp” that I like (aptly named for this blog as well).   The basic idea is that you get your child involved in playing with something, give him a few minutes and then call their name in the next room.  If they come, reward them.  If not, you give them a little spanking on the hand for a physical reminder that you asked them to come and they didn’t.  It is not hurt them or punish them but to train them to listen to you.

Whether or not you know it, you have already trained your children, even if they’re infants.  By repeating yourself and raising your voice, you have trained them to wait to respond until your voice has reached the level of “I am seriously angry and mean business.”  This became evident to me when I read the part where the author was riding a horse owned by someone else.  He said that he figured out very quickly that the horse would not respond unless he yelled the commands, “yaaa”, “whoaaaa”, etc.  He remembered that the horse’s owner yelled instead of spoke these commands to the horse and the horse responded to his yelling but not the same commands in a normal voice.  I tried it and it works.  I only use a very even voice when I want my children to respond and they do.  Until then, I would raise my voice and repeat myself if they didn’t listen right away.

I had been unwittingly teaching them to only respond to my angry, loud voice instead.

Now I get down on their level, ask them questions that make them think such as, “what should you be doing when I ask you to ______” and I only use an even, calm voice.

I have so much to share on these topics.  I have read other great books that have helped me train my children and I will be sharing that learning in the next 5 posts or so.  It may go more than 5 posts because I could literally devote one post for each of the tools that I have learned and there are so many of them.

Not all of this book or the other tools to which I have alluded are for very young children.  The general principles apply to children and teenagers of any age.   I can just say, that you must always develop a loving relationship where you show your children and teens how much you love them so that when you do apply the tools I am about to impart to you, the child or teen will not develop an even deeper resentment toward you.  You cannot train a child effectively without first loving them.  Your training is a great manifestation of that love and they will know it.  Kids are very intuitive and they know when someone isn’t being genuine with them.

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